Victims often ask, “Can I get money back from a romance scam?” The truth is, some do, but most do not. That does not mean you should not try.
I have worked countless love swindles over the years. Victims have paid a fake lover through cash transfers, gift cards, bank transfers, and, these days, digital currencies like Bitcoin.
In many cases, the romance scammer does not receive the money under the name they used with you. They may have another victim or a money mule collect it. If your online relationship asks you to send money to a third party, that is a serious warning sign. You should never send money to someone you met online.
How to Pursue Your Money
You must be aggressive in your pursuit.
Cash transfer services usually explain how to report fraud on their websites. I have seen victims receive refunds. If you made a bank transfer, contact your bank and the bank that received your money by email and regular mail. Give them the name and account details of the person who received it. Explain you are a victim of fraud. You have to target the identity that received the funds, not the romance scammer. In these situations being loud gets attention.
Do not be discouraged by the first person who says they cannot help. Ask them to point you to the person or department that can. Be aggressive, send letters to bank managers, president, etc. You must become your own advocate.
I have seen victims recover as much as sixty to seventy thousand dollars, euros and pounds. That does not mean every victim will get their money back. There is hope, but it can come with a fight. You do not know until you try.
If you are dating someone online and are unsure whether they are real, reach out. I can help you assess the person and the relationship. Read more about my romance scam help. If the relationship has turned into threats of exposure, visit my blackmail help for women page.
About Frank M. Ahearn
I began my career as a skip tracer and social engineer in 1984. I learned how to find people through addresses, businesses, family connections, telephone numbers, and the small details people reveal without thinking.
Later, I reversed that work. I began helping people protect their identities, become difficult to locate, and disappear from dangerous situations. I am the New York Times bestselling author of How to Disappear and the author of The Online Dating Journal and The Romance Detective. I am based in Europe and work internationally.
Romance scammers manipulate love. Blackmailers manipulate fear. I understand both.
Books on Online Dating
If you want to assess the person you are dating, read The Online Dating Journal: How to Identify Online Dating Red Flags and Avoid Romance Scammers, Married Men & Creeps.
United States · United Kingdom · Australia · Canada · Germany · Belgium · Sweden
German edition · Swedish edition · Polish edition
For people planning to date or already chatting with someone on a dating app, read The Romance Detective: How to Tell If He’s a Jerk, Creep, Scammer — or Married.
United States · United Kingdom · Australia · Canada · Germany · German edition