The main mistake many women make when they become involved in an online romance is never having a live video call. I don’t mean a clip the love interest sends you. I mean a call where you see each other and talk about the weather, life, and anything else that comes up.
If you are questioning an online relationship, you can read more about my romance scam help.
Be aware that some romance scammers will claim their audio is not working and that they must type instead. You may be watching a looped video rather than talking to the person you think you know.
Online scammers often avoid live video. Some will agree to a call, but the room is dark and you cannot clearly see them. I worked a case where the crook printed out the face of the person they were pretending to be, put it over their own face, and sent the victim a video. Love scammers go to great lengths to hide their faces. A live conversation can save you heartache and possibly your life savings.
Other scammers I have encountered claimed they were on an oil rig and that a live video call could cause an explosion. A fake soldier claimed he was on a secret mission and that it was too dangerous to use video. However, that did not stop him from using Facebook Messenger. Another claimed he was an engineer working for a foreign country and that, for security reasons, the camera had been removed from his mobile phone.
We live in a time when a live video call from distant parts of the world, or even from sea, is possible. Consider this: if the person is unwilling to put your mind at ease with a video call, how much do they really care?
If you do have a video call, notice the background and the time of day or night. Does it match their supposed location? Ask them to show you the view out the window. Do not be afraid to ask. This is an act of protection.
Five minutes will not prove everything about a person. But seeing how they respond to an ordinary, unscripted conversation can reveal more than another carefully written message or prerecorded clip.
How I Stop Romance Scams
If you are unsure whether the person you are dating online is real, I can search the identity they are using and examine the story they have told you. I look for the details that do not fit so you can understand what is happening before you send more money.
If the relationship has turned into threats of exposure, I can take over the communication and work to prevent exposure. You can read more about that on my Blackmail Help for Women page.
About Frank M. Ahearn
I began my career as a skip tracer and social engineer in 1984.
I learned how to find people through addresses, businesses, family connections, telephone numbers, and the small details people reveal without thinking.
Later, I reversed that work.
I began protecting identities, making people difficult to locate, and helping clients disappear.
I am the New York Times bestselling author of How to Disappear and the author of the Blackmail Survival Series. I am European-based and work internationally.
Romance scammers manipulate love.
Blackmailers manipulate fear.
I understand both.
My Romance Scam Books
The Online Dating Journal: How to Identify Online Dating Red Flags and Avoid Romance Scammers, Married Men & Creeps helps you examine the person you are dating and recognize warning signs.
United States · United Kingdom · Australia · Canada · Germany
The Romance Detective: How to Tell If He’s a Jerk, Creep, Scammer — or Married is for people who are dating or talking to someone on a dating app and want to look more closely at who they are dealing with.
United States · United Kingdom · Australia · Canada · Germany